WEEK 9 - STEPS SIX AND SEVEN
This week we consider Steps Six and Seven. In many ways these two Steps are a
reaffirmation of Step Three. Now that we have taken moral inventory and started to develop
ideals for behaviour, we are developing steadily a greater understanding of what it means to
�hand our will and our lives� over to the care of God, as we understand Him. These two steps
are asking us to conform again this commitment.
Step Six first: Were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character
This is a short and simple step. We asked ourselves: am I entirely willing to have my defects removed?
In the light of what we have learnt from Steps Four and Five many of us were, and
could answer, �yes�. In that case, we did not hesitate; we moved to Step Seven. We did not
complicate it with further discussion.
However, for some of us there was a hesitation. So we considered which of the defects
we wanted to hang on to. For example, some of us wanted to hang on to lust because we
thought we would never have sex again. Our sponsors assured us that in this analysis of
defects, we are talking about the self-seeking part of us. From the very name we give them �
defects � it indicates that we are talking about a defective
desire. When we are experiencing
lust, our motivation is self-centred. We were told, that in fact there is another motivation for
sex, one that is good � and that is love. Our experience is that when self-centredness drives
us, it causes problems in our relationships. So trying to do the right thing, the loving thing, in
our relationships is the ideal we aim for.
Similar arguments can be used for any of the defects. For example, pride: acting
without pride doesn�t mean that we stop dressing well or washing. If we do this out of pride,
it is likely to be vanity. However, it is good to dress well if we are aiming to look becoming
for others. This is not taking a �pride� in our appearance (although that is how we would refer
to it in everyday language), but consideration of others. Similarly, we should not be �proud�
of our abilities, but we can be pleased that we have them and aim to use them to the full
because we are grateful to God for having them and we want to use them for good.
The experience of taking Step Five demonstrated to us how so much of our behaviour
has been driven by self-centredness and dishonesty. We have more of a sense of what it
means to live a life according to spiritual principles. So, part of Step Six is the decision to
keep trying to do the right thing in the light of what we know. As the previous examples
illustrate, it is not always a case of trying to do the opposite of what our defects tell us, but
rather, to try to do the right thing regardless
of what our defects tell us. For example,
sometimes we want to do the right thing for the wrong reason. In these cases, we should still
aim to do the right thing, but if we do so by consideration of the right reasons, we will feel
better about ourselves. We found Step-10 inventory (done the same way as Step Four, but on
a daily basis) and adviced from a sponsor helpful in making these decisions.
If after these considerations we are not ready, it is always worth asking God for
willingness, as the Big Book suggests on page 76. Some people worry that if they do not have
a 100% conviction that they are always going to behave perfectly, that they do not have
sufficient willingness to take this step. For us, complete willingness simply means that there
is no aspect of our lives in which we are willing to try to do the right thing. If we are prepared
to let spiritual principles set the ideals for behaviour in all areas, then we have complete
willingness. If we are genuinely willing, then we will see effort and progress. We always
acknowledge that it is inevitable that at times our efforts are going to be less than perfect.
Now we have come to Step Seven: Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings
We said the prayer that is given in the book, p76, on our knees (that is, humbly). This
need not be done with the sponsor and can be done the moment that the willingness required
is there, which could be the same afternoon as finishing the Fifth Step. So the prayer is:
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�My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands
in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out
from here, to do your bidding. Amen.� |
The Big Book says {p76}: �We have now completed step seven.� It is as simple as that!
Therefore we do not take this step daily and do not need to say the Step Seven prayer daily.
An indication that Steps Six and Seven are a recommitment to go further with the programme
is given by the statement, on page 76, that after we have completed Step Seven, �Now we
need more action, without which we find that �Faith without works is dead� �
Note: it might have happened, but we are not aware of anyone experiencing that their
defects of character are completely removed as a result of this. It�s not what the prayer
requests anyway. It asks not that God remove all defects of character so that we may be
comfortable. It asks that God remove our defects only insofar as our usefulness to others is
improved. We have experienced, however, that provided we take regular inventory, the
resentments and self-centred fears caused by the defects will go and, with God�s help we find
it easier to �do the right thing� and to follow the dictates of a Higher Power, rather than the
dictates of our self-centred defects.
One last point: in group discussion of steps six and seven, one often hears opinions
expressed about the nature of humility. This arises because it is in Bill W�s discussions of
these steps in the 12x12. It is well to remember here that the 12x12 is a discussion after the
fact and not an instruction manual. We found that we needed to do only what the Big Book
tells us. We found that complex considerations of whether or not we are humble are not
usually helpful � to judge ourselves humble is an act of pride. We find that the easiest thing
is to let our sponsors decide. If our sponsors are encouraging us to go on with the programme,
then we can take it that he considers us to have sufficient humility to take this step.
This concludes this week�s talk. Now I am delighted to introduce [Name]. Who will
disclose to us in a general way what it was like, what happened and what it is like now.